Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
