Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
