So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
