I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
