There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
