You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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