Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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