They should really pass out barf bags in church
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
how drunk are you?
Several
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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