At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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