I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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