everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
