i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
