i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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