I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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