i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
