lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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