He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize