Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
