I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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