had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
