I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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