I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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