Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I lost the right to judge tonight
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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