"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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