so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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