Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize