Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
