It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
