You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize