when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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