No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
