I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
