One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
