do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
