Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
