drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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