no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize