I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
