lets start a swedish sibling band together
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
