So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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