wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
