You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
