Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

He played with my vagina like it was a turntable

Fav 24 4456 1907
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(360): View more from Washington

so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy

(360): View more from Washington

man i love america

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(330): View more from Ohio

Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?

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(302): View more from Delaware

I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night

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(630): View more from Illinois

She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.

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(214): View more from Texas

Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl

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(219): View more from Indiana

the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.

(219): View more from Indiana

easily made my night.

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