WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
