jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
