Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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