so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
A bitchslap is in order.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
