anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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