I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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