I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Randomize
