pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You have to summon your inner elephant
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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