is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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