Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
