either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
