If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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