He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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