Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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